So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
