Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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