he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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