My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
