So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
