Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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