when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
