Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
