I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
