Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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