He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
