Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
