So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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