i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
