Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
