so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
