no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
