Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
