I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
