Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
