oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize