I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
