His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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