I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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