no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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