Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
