Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
