Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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