he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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