ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
