Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
