is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am midnight drunk by noon
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
