So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
