i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize