I wanna passion pit in your ass
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
