Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
