Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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