On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am midnight drunk by noon
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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