you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
