this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
