This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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