i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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