Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
