What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
