She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
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