Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
