just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
