i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
