508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize