It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize