..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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