The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
