They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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