Someone shit on the floor
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
