What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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