Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
