It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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