omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
