..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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