i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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