omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
