Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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